


Hunter x Hunter Poetry Series

by hxhphobe



Series: Hunter x Hunter Poems [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Canon Universe, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Poetry, Spoilers, its kinda sad ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:59:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hxhphobe/pseuds/hxhphobe
Summary: a series of character analysis poems for my fave hxh characters.1) Gon2) Killua3) Killugon4) Mito5) Nanika//Alluka6) Leorio7) Kurapika//Pairo8) Canary9) Neferpitou10) Kalluto





	1. For Gon

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of my Hunter x Hunter character series :) I was previously @hxhphobic on tumblr but now I'm at @hxhrz

Golden boy, wonderstruck boy;  
The fates said that you were meant for more than this.  
You were destined for glory, for honor, for power.  
But you are twelve and you are naive and your big heart will be your hubris.  
You are meant to be a hero, after all.

Silly boy, moonstruck boy;  
You don’t care that he has demons,  
You don’t feel sick when you see his scarlet tinted hands.  
You just see the boy you fell in love with, the boy who holds your heart in those hands.  
But you are thirteen and nothing is fair in love and war.  
There is tragedy in your horizon.  
You are a hero, after all.

Dying boy, calamity struck boy;  
Hadn’t you heard of the tale of Icarus?  
Didn’t you know what would happen if you flew too close to the sun?  
You were a boy, then a hero, and now you’re close to becoming nothing at all.  
You will survive, but a part of you will still die.  
That is what it means to survive.  
You are fourteen and you’ve just learned that no matter how good you are, you will still suffer.  
You were a hero, after all.


	2. For Killua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of the hxh poetry series.
> 
> I was @pitoucore on tumblr, now I'm @hxhphobic

Did you know,  
That you will love a boy with honey-suckled eyes, who runs to danger like its an old friend?  
( _Adventure never tasted so sweet_ )  
You say his name in reverence; like it’s holy; like it’s the only word your mouth has ever known.  
( _You are light, you are light, you are light_ )  
You hold onto his hand, so gently, like your hands haven’t known violence,  
( _Please, god, let him be the one thing these hands don’t destroy_ )  
Yet your grip is a lifeline; desperate, unruly, chaotic.  
( _Can I still stay by your side?_ )  
You think if you stick with him you’ll come close to some sort of holiness,  
( _Not even holy water could remove the scarlet tinted sins of your past_ )  
Imagine the boy you love, loving you back unconditionally.  
( _Did you know you can’t keep him?_ )

You will learn,  
That winning rarely feels good,  
And that love and war are so entwined it almost looks natural,  
And that human nature is the scariest man-made weapon,  
And that his name on your tongue could somehow feel foreign,  
And that your name on his lips could seem unnatural,  
And that you didn’t have to wither away to keep him whole,  
And that nothing in this life ever makes sense,  
And that you were just children, sweet naive children that thought you knew more than you did,  
And that in the end, he did love you all along.  
You will learn that nothing in this life is ever simple, but when he holds your hand as tenderly as you once held his, you think you can live with that.  
( _Did you know that’s all that ever mattered?_ )


	3. For Gon and Killua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is for Gon and Killua

I get praised for destroying myself.

The scars, ‘they are a point of pride.’ they tell me.

Each scar, each wound, brings me closer to a love I’ve been searching for since I was a child. 

So I destroy, destroy, destroy all that I am. Just so I can be loved.

I fight in a war that will eviscerate me for this love. I don’t fear death. I fear waking up and realizing that the fight has been for nothing. I am just a boy pretending to be a man. It’s all I can do.

//

The boy that I love destroys himself. 

He wants to find a love that only a father can give.

I don’t think his father is capable of that kind of love.

I try to fill his empty spaces with my love, giving him my all.

But it's not enough. It never has been.

Yet I stay by his side because its all I know. It’s all I have. 

In a way, I’m destroying myself too. 

It’s okay. This is love.

//

The boy that I love cries out my name.

It's unholy, it's unnatural, it’s terrifying. 

I think I gave him a scar on his heart.

I never wanted my hurt to reach him.

For once, I stop fighting. I hope my apology reaches him.

It isn’t enough.

//

The boy that I love is dying. 

Death clings onto him like a lover, like he’s all its ever known.

The way I used to. 

The scar he gave me smarts, but I know he didn’t mean to put it there.

Eventually destroying yourself leads to destroying the ones you love. 

It’s all he’d known. Destruction. It’s the love that his father gave him.

I don’t blame him for the faulty love he’s received.

Instead, I’ll keep giving him my love because it’s enough. It always has been.

I’ll save him because I have to. Because I need to. 

It’s okay. This is love. 


	4. For Mito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Mito

You never got to be a girl.   


You never got to rebel, you were never allowed to be careless,   


You never got to run barefoot through the grass until it felt like your lungs were about to burst,   


You never got to live out the escapism fantasy you dreamt up when you were thirteen.   


You were a child and then you were a woman.

You add grief to your repertoire of emotions.

Isn’t that how it always goes?

//

He’s twelve and he’s got his father’s eyes.

And it hurts but you love him. What else can you do?

Though, you see the parts of yourself you instilled in him, too. 

The compassion, the love of life, the ability to see the goodness in others.

But as quickly as you got him, he’s gone. 

You sleep in his bed sometimes, hoping that you’ll wake up and he’ll be five again,

Begging for you to hold him to your heart.

You knew grief, but now you will learn loneliness.

Isn’t that how it always goes?

//

He’s fourteen and he’s dying. 

And you scream until your throat collapses, but somehow you find the will to keep screaming.

You pound at the walls ‘till your knuckles bleed and beg God not to take away your little boy.

“Take me instead!” 

You vaguely wonder how many mothers’ have echoed those words. 

You quickly realize you don’t want to find out.

And you want to go back to when his eyes were clear and bright,

So untainted and unknowing of the harsh world that waited with open arms. 

You knew grief, and then you learned loneliness. Now you will be taught helplessness.

Isn’t that how it always goes?


	5. For Nanika//Alluka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Nanika and Alluka

You have loneliness imprinted on your bones,

And you learned of loss before love. 

There is something unholy about you,

Something that makes grown men weep.

Your father; strong, intelligent, invincible,

Trembles before it.

You didn’t think he knew fear before he met you.

You were only a child,

When they threw you in a cage and called it mercy.

But your smile leaks sunlight,

And your laugh suggests you know nothing of pain.

The Gods tremble before your power.

But then, what’s a god to a girl?

  
//  
  


You didn’t need anyone to teach you about misery,

Or what faulty love can do to an innocent soul,

You learned those things on your own.

And yet, when they demonized the darkness inside of you,

You tore open your ribcage just so she could get some light.

And from that wound, flowers grew.

On the nights when she feels like a monster,

You hold her close and remind her of her humanity.

The Gods tremble before your mercy.

But then, what’s a god to a girl?


	6. For Leorio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Leorio a.k.a Dr. Coochie a.k.a Dr. Horny a.k.a loml

When you were a boy;

Life took you by the hands and told you, ‘I am not kind.’

You thought you knew what that meant; you were poor and hungry and eternally tired.

But life always has a trick up its sleeve, one last lesson to teach.

So you learned about death in the form of your best friend dying.

Still, you told life, ‘I am not a quitter.’

And you shut out the hatred, and let compassion in.

When you were just a boy, you learned how to be a good man.

//

When you were a man;

Love took you by the hands and told you, ‘I am not kind.’

You weren’t exactly sure what that meant; after all, love was what drove you to become a healer.

But then you met a boy who’s scarlet eyes rivaled every sunset,

And he broke down the cruel facade you’d set around yourself.

But love always has a trick up its sleeve, one last heartbreak to give.

So the boy told you he couldn’t be yours and cast you out of his life.

Still, you told love, ‘I am not a quitter.’

And you shut out the bitterness and poured yourself into his empty spaces.

When you were just a man, you learned the purest form of love.

//

When you were together;

You found out your hands were made for more than healing.

They were made for fighting his demons,

And helping him hold his burdens,

And making him coffee, 

And mapping out the freckles on his body,

And holding him in the spaces of time between the infinite and finite,

And tugging, tugging, tugging on that red string until he was back in your arms.

When life and love told you, ‘We won’t be kind.’

You both replied, ‘We are not quitters.’

When you were together, you learned how to be stronger.


	7. For Kurapika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters to Pairo-For Kurapika

_ Dear Pairo _ , 

I met a friend today. He’s small, just as small as you were the last time I saw you.

_ (How long has it been? Five years? I wonder if you’d be taller than me. Wouldn’t that be funny?) _

His eyes shine just as brightly as yours. 

_ (I always did think your eyes rivaled the sun.) _

I met another boy, who’s laugh made me feel warm. I don’t think the cold could ever reach me if I stay with him.

_ (I’ve been freezing without you.) _

This feeling...am I allowed to be happy without you? 

_ (If I ask stupid questions, maybe you’ll come back to knock some sense into me.) _

//

_ Dear Pairo, _

Vengeance doesn’t taste as sweet as I thought it would.

_ (“Stupid Kura,” You’d say. “A heart like yours was never meant to hold so much rage.”) _

I’ve been so delirious on revenge for so long that I never took the time to consider if this is what I wanted.

_ (What do I want, what do I want, what do I want?) _

I carry the memory of our people in my heart, but it doesn’t leave room for much else.

_ (I empty, empty, empty parts of myself until I’m more ghost than human.) _

I’m on an adventure, but it feels meaningless without you.

_ (“Was it fun?”) _

I’m on a path that I know will lead me to destruction. It’s all I can do.

_ (“Take a different path, baka.”) _

I miss you. And I miss him.

_ (“So go to him.”) _

//

_ Dear Pairo, _

I went to him. 

_ (And I think my sins are forgiven.) _

My throat still closes up when I think of you and our people.

_ (It seems my eyes are more scarlet than brown these days.) _

And I still carry the weight of your memory in my heart.

_ (I hear the echo, echo, echo of a silence that’ll always be too loud.) _

But he makes it easier to breathe. To laugh. To forgive. To love.

_ (Oh, how wonderful it is to love and be loved.)  _

I don’t feel so heavy now. He shoulders some of my burdens and laughs like it’s weightless.

_ (If only Atlas had a love like this.) _

//

_ “Was it fun?” _

_ “Yes! Let’s do it together next time, okay?” _


	8. For Canary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For canary (and a little for amane too)

A young girl dances with violence and cruelty,

_ It’s all she knows, all she knows. _

Yet in her loneliest hours, she teaches herself about love and kindness.

_ It’s what she longs for, all she longs for. _

//

A young girl comes toe to toe with death and wins,

_ Its what she’s good at, all she’s good at. _

But in the shadows, she introduces a lonely boy to the concept of friendship.

If she can’t preserve her own humanity, she’ll nurture his.

_ It’s all she can do, all she can do. _

//

A young woman wears the title of 'warrior' with pride.

_ It’s all she has, all she has. _

She finds a flicker of love, of humanity, of realness in a woman, not unlike herself,

Is this the love she longed for before?

_ It’s all she wants, all she wants. _

//

A woman loses herself in another,

Their love so sweet that Sappho weeps with pride from the heavens, 

Sharing quiet kisses under the mask of night, soft caresses in the sunlight.

Love is no longer a rumor, nor a legend, nor an alluring deception, but rather a beautiful reality.

_She’s got all she wanted, all she wanted_.


	9. For Pitou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For neferpitou, my fave chimera ant

When you are looked upon;

Your eyes reflect something chaotic, something amorphous, something puerile. 

They think you’ve got nothing but brutality in those hands of yours; that you dream of  bloodshed and crave  destruction like its unholy water because anything less is too  _ pure _ _. _

And you do, you do.

But they don’t see that your blood  d r i p s with loyalty just like theirs, that you possess the ability to love, to protect, to  die .

That your motivations and everything that you thought to be true was dipped in gossamer; just like theirs. 

_ Question _ : Do they see your humanity battling with the chimera inside of you?

_ Answer _ : Do  **you** ?


	10. For Kalluto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Kalluto, the Zoldyck that just wanted to be loved and yearns for a home.

**_Question_ ** _ : What do you do when you’re a sinner that just wants to be loved? _

 

**_Options_ ** _ : _

 

**_i._ **

Scrub at your scarlet-defiled hands until the blood is no longer foreign but familiar. Scrub until you bleed and hope that blood for blood will wash out some of your transgressions. 

 

**_ii._ **

Scream until your ears are ringing from your own despair rather than someone else. Until your throat mirrors sandpaper and not even water can soothe the burn. Hope that pain for pain will drown out your echoing sins. 

 

**_iii._ **

Cry. Pretend the liquid seeping from your eyes is holy water. Let it drip down your cheeks and run down your torn up throat-but don’t let it soothe you. Let it be a reminder of something you will never be;  _ pure.  _ Hope that begging for mercy will bring you favor in the eyes of something you’re not quite sure can exist in your world. 

 

**_iv._ **

Mock Atlas for complaining about the weight of the world on his shoulders when nothing would come close to bearing the sins of your father. Curse your mother for flashing saccharine smiles at you in a feeble attempt at comfort in the face of overwhelming horror. Damn your eldest brother for trying to steal the parts of you that make you human. Rage against your siblings for leaving you behind when all you wanted was to  love .

 

**_Answer_ ** _ :  _ Realize the strength to leave was in your hands the entire time. Gaze at salvation like its a solution rather than an illusion. Atone for your sins by forgiving yourself freely. Let your tears be the tool of washing away your defilement. Love as fiercely as you’ve hated, live as vigorously as you’ve feared. Waiting for a better tomorrow is always the hardest part.

 

But you’ll get there.


End file.
